October 27, 2010 - Tips To Meet Women

This post is a little different from what I was intending to write today.  I just received a text from a girl I have been seeing for a few weeks.  When I met her she had only spilt up with her boyfriend of 7 years a few months ago.  Since we’ve been seeing each out we’ve had fun and done some memorable things.  Today I got a text from her informing me she is getting back with her ex.

I’m sure most people in their lives will have experienced something along the same lines as this in some form or other.  I’m quite lucky (I guess) as this is only the fourth or fifth time a girls finished with me, but hey ‘it is what it is’ .  The point of this post is, how am I going to let this situation affect me ?

On way I could approach the situation goes something like ‘oh my god, what is wrong with me ?!?!’ or  ‘what have I done wrong!’ or ‘I’m never going to meet anyone like that again’.  In general this is the attitude that most people around me have.  I’m not going to pretend that I’m not disappointed, I really liked this girl, so what is my reaction ?

If I objectively look at this experience there are some mixed emotions that come from it.  In the positive category I have met a cool person, I have had fun, I’ve tried some new things out, I’ve been to some new places.  On the negative I’ve wasted time on something that hasn’t worked out and my egos taken a little bit of a kick.

The older I get the more I know what I want.  Currently, I can honestly look inside and I honestly know I’m looking to get into a long term commitment with anyone.  If it happened it happened, but deep down I’m pretty certain my attitude and the times not just right for a long term commitment to occur.  I love being single, I enjoy going out and meeting new people, I love learning, I have good friends, I have a lot of goals and ambitions for the future and I can’t see this changing in the near future.

I listen to lot of self improvement books and tapes, like Tony Robbins and Brain Tracey, one idea that  keeps reoccurring is that you get what you focus on.  If you fill your head with positive thoughts, its more likely positive things will happen to you.  I understand that I’m not looking for anything long term I know that I’m subconsciousness projecting this in the way I talk and interact with people.  If I’m doing this how can I fairly expect any girl to want want something long term from me ?

Secondly, in every relationship (short or long) I enter into I always try and create something new, fun and memorable so I can grow as a person.  I don’t really believe in going on dates, I believe in creating memories with people (WOW…  that sounds much more cheesy on paper than my head).  So in the few weeks we’ve known each other we’ve done things like created our own cocktail together, we’ve been to a restaurant I’ve always wanted to go and I’ve learnt some new stories and some new things.

So what are my overall impressions of this experience?  For me its positive regardless that it hasn’t gone 100% my way.  I’ve had fun, experienced some new things, no ones been hurt in the process and this girl is potentially with someone who’ll make her happy.  It’s a win-win really.

The reason I see things this way is that I’m so clear in what I want.  A few years ago something like this would have probably affected me a lot more.  But having written down what I look for in a women, what I want in life, what I will tolerate and what I won’t allows me to see thing much more objectively and in the big picture.

If you havn’t written down what your expectations in life are, I suggest you do it now!  It can take less than 15 minutes and can bring you a much higher quality of life.   In life everyone and every situation is different…  it would boring if it wasn’t.  If you don’t know what you want, how will you know if your happy or not ?

So how am I left feeling…  my honest opinion…  inspired and excited about the future.  On the weekend I’ll be back out experiencing the thrill of meeting women and during the week I’ll continue to learn and improve myself (and maybe see one of the other girls I’m seeing).   The point being, however,  that interaction ended I could’t loose either way.  How would you react if a girl you liked finished with you

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