Oneitis… She’s The One

March 28, 2012 - Tips To Meet Women
Oneitis… She’s The One

I recently stumbled upon a phrase that describes a problem all men have at one time in their lives…  oneitis.  For those of you not in the know, oneitis as  defined by urban dictionary is  ‘An unhealthy romantic obsession with a single person. Usually accompanied by un-reciprocated affection and completely unrealistic idealization of the said person.’

I’ve fallen in this trap on the odd few occasions…  before anything has happened you sit and imagine a future and it messes up your game big time.  You think of the great sex, going on holiday or whatever the horrible bullshit that floats round our heads.  As these thoughts linger instead of being neutral about the situation I’ve noticed in myself that I’ve unconsciously started to change the way I can act.  Instead of being indifferent and maintaining attraction I’ve noticed at times I’ve unconsciously become a bit nicer and less of a challenge.  This has resulted in girls feeling less attraction and as soon as there’s a power shift in the relationship the natural reaction is to chase that person to ‘win’ her back so to speak.  I fyou go and look throught Yahoo answers there are tons of these horror stories and sadly to say no matter who you are and how much experience you have it still happens.

I didn’t want to accept that I was going to be a constant victim to my own mind.. so I started to think what I cold do to change.  My first thought was to AWAYS HAVE OPTIONS.. this is probably the most obvious peace of advice. From my experience the higher quality girls I have dated who are my age (30) are looking for a guy to settle down with and they get constant options).  A lot of these girls from my experience will not be stick around if they think your either some wired creepy nice guy BUT on the other hand they are equally repulsed if they think your dating multiple people.  It’s great for the intial attraction but not so much for the long term… so what is the solution.

Teh frst thing is to be aware of it.. when you feel it coming on do as much as possible to take your mind off the person.  Talk to other girls, understand you have options try to keep things light hearted and fun and MAINTAIN THE POWER base in your favour.  If you like someone remember the counter intuitive is always the best approach.  When you feel the desire to chase.. that’s the time to back off.. read a PUA book or listen to a tape and instead worry about this girl focus on how you are going to improve yourself.


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