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Interview With Dating Guru’s With F.J. Shark by David DeAngelo

August 18, 2013 - Uncategorized
Interview With Dating Guru’s With F.J. Shark by David DeAngelo

In this interview David D interviews a guy called F.J. Shark who wrote a book called How to be the Jerk Women Love: Social Success for Men and Women in the 90’s.

I have personally evolved over the years and I would personally admit that I now have more of the characteristics that people would associated with a jerk.  With this evolution my success with women has also increased.  Most people will never reflect why/what traits within that stereotype is attractive and why.  Most of the research I’ve come across in this area all agree women are attracted to strong, confident, self reliant, dominant men which the jerk persona conveys.

I have often discussed within my social group and it makes logical sense to me that a girl should pick the nice guy, but I know from experience that this isn’t the case.  I love the fast food/healthy comparison because at a logical level the girl should do whats emotionally healthy for her and go with a nice guy, but in reality the jerk is the option she craves.   area is one of the debates I have a lot with guys from work.  Every guy I’ve met who thinks being nice and trying to (in my opinion) trick her into bed/a relationship never has great success with women.

The interview starts with F.J. defining his definition of a jerk and what are the characteristics he associates with the ‘jerk’ persona.  During this part of the discussion  F.J. a number of very insightful insightful ideas around the jerk persona :

F.J. splits women into two categories, discount and premium.  The reason why you need to know the different types of women is that you need to treat them differently. Discount women (not as attractive) will love compliments as they don’t get them as much.   A premium girl (beautiful) would be more attracted to being put down as on a day to day basis she will get complimented a lot.  This framework creates a base way for you to stand out from other guys as you’ll always be doing the opposite of everyone else.

F.J. goes on to talk about the differences in mindsets between men and women.  When a guy meets a women in there 20’s, he’s meeting them at their most beautiful.  Men are more into looks so this is the girls peak.  Women meeting a man in his 20’s are no where near their financial peak, so a women has to think about potential more.

Men are attribute focused.  A man searching for a job will first look at the salary and then decide what hes willing to give up to gain that reward.  F.J. proposes that men do the same when they rate a women.  Does she meet my minimum standards.  After deciding that she does, the guy then has to determine what he has to give up in order to attain her, or, what are you going to have to learn to get that women.

Women love mystery, intrigue, drama and want are attracted towards curiosity.  When you go on dates you don’t want to tell the women everything about you, she needs to work to get the information out of you.  I think this ties in brilliantly with David D’s, never give a women a direct answer unless it’s a no philosophy.    Its the same as don’t go on a date and tell a girl about the fun things you have done…  do it now.  I like pub quiz’s for first dates because I enjoy doing them.  If the dates rubbish at least I have fun no matter what.  For the girl they’ve never been taken to a pub quiz on a first date, its different and it creates that team attitude between us….  if the story finishes it the end of the book.

The next point I can absolutely 100% confirm through all my relationships with women.  The girl always puts you first, you have first choice.  If your not man enough to take the lead you can’t complain.

Another analogy I liked was the comparison between humans and ants. In the ant world the queen (the girl) has worker ants (nice guys) that do all the work for her, but the drones (jerks) are the ones that get with her.

The interview then goes on to talk about where to meet women….  F.J. response was everywhere.  His ideas were he met women included collage courses,  selling his car ands health clubs.  F.J. recons that his biggest success is when it came from situations where he was there doing other things.  A different insight that I found quite thought provoking was instead of meeting new people take advantage of the current opportunities.  I guess this point is really obvious but so easy to overlook.  David d gave an example in sales example constantly focusing on new leads instead of working on converting their existing contacts.

Conclusion : F.J.’s outlook is really cynical but the interview had tons of insights.  At first listen I wasn’t to convinced but I’m definitely going to buy his book fir a read.  It gives a completely fresh perspective to dating in my opinion  than the most of the interviews I’ve heard.

 

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