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Double Your Dating Chapters 3 and 4 by David DeAngelo

September 9, 2013 - Pickup Product Reviews
Double Your Dating Chapters 3 and 4 by David DeAngelo

Double Your Dating was the first book that David DeAngelo produced.  This post will review the 3rd and 4th chapters.

Chapter Three

The chapter starts off detailing the principals why being wanted is more attractive than being needy.   This sets up the rest of the chapter that describes mental modals to adopt that makes you more naturally attractive.

I have a friend who has very unique hair.  If you classed his persona it would come under an ‘emo’.  If you don’t know what an ‘emo’ is short for emotional.  The genre of music for that genre is screamo/rock music.  The girls who are into that genre will always approach him because of his hair. He can go out and has to do very little to attract women.  This chapter details some of the mental philosophies guys can learn to increase their natural attractiveness.

The interview goes on in my opinion to define what a man is, the basic do’s and don’t of things to do in front of women.  I really liked the part about understanding the frame your projecting when your interacting with a girl.  A women will treat a potential boyfriend differently than they would a sexy fling even though the end result may be the same.

The book then goes on to start talking about defining plans.  This advice is very similar to a lot of self help stuff, define what you want and then plan how your going to make it happen.  I personally think that this is one of the first things anyone should do when their trying to accomplish something.  Knowing what your type is, where that type is going to hang out are really important things to know.

The next part of the chapter goes onto list a set characteristics that women find attractive in men.  As part of a dating plan the individual needs to determine (or ask) the characteristics that their type would want in a guy.

Chapter 4

This chapter revolves around communication.  The first part talks about the things that women do to test men.  Women test men to determine if the person is confident, in control and congruent with the personality that they are portraying.

David states that women want a challenging man.  He recommends some reading to understand this principal Jayne Krentz – Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women or F.J. Shark – How to Succeed With Women By Being A Jerk or Helen Hazen – Endless Rapture or  Margie Palatini – Bad Boys.

By being in control and staying congruent with your beliefs you pass these test.  An example from my life occurred the other day.  I told a girl what night we should hang out, she replied with ‘you shouldn’t assume that I want to hang out’.  In my thinking there were two ways to reply, strong or needy.  A needy approach would involve apologising and asking for validation that she liked me.  As she replied at all I interpret this as she likes me ‘it’s on’.  A strong approach is either ignoring her or teasing her with something like ‘dork’.

The main point I love from this chapter is the line ‘Never give a woman a direct answer… unless the answer is NO.  When I started thinking consciously about this principle it created much better interactions with people to tease and create humour.  I’m a naturally arrogant/cocky person so never being direct is fun for me.  When someone has to dig for your treasure/data it gives you power.

The chapter then goes onto list three other really useful frames to have when interacting with women.  David then goes onto explain why these type of mental modals are useful, which was to standout from the normal guys mindset.  Being different creates intrigue and mystery which in turn to creates emotions and attraction

The book then goes onto talk about becoming an exceptional person.  David makes the comparison of how hard it is for a guy to find a super modal to how hard it is for a girl to meet an exceptional guy.  Becoming exceptional was one of the things I decided to do about 10 years ago now and is still something I work on daily to improve.  Its one of the main reasons that I write this blog, it gives me another avenue to improve upon.  For women the way a man looks isn’t the number one factor its his personality. outlook and lifestyle.  For me this means that any guy start on the quest of being exceptional and everyone can succeed.  As long as a man continues on his quest he’ll grow and increase his conviction that he is exceptional.

So the overall recipe in Davids book for this quest seems like this :

Exceptional = Having interests + Having a strong frame + Style + Humour

The next part of the book introduces the concept of humour and the importance of using it in creating attraction.  This principal can be demonstrated in teasing.  Weak men are generally not attractive to women but by teasing a girl you demonstrating that you have a higher status than she has which builds attraction.

One of the books recommended to improve your humour is Melvin Helitzer – Comedy Writing Secrets.  I have read this book and recommend it.  David then introduces the concept of developing your character.  In Melvin’s book he advices to develop the character and not the actual jokes themselves to become funnier.  Melvin’s concept is that people laugh with the character and the actual jokes themselves aren’t as important.  So in dating terms working on your character will mean women will become naturally more attracted to you.  To become funnier work on your character will make you naturally more funnier.

Another point that really hit home, was using humour to read people.  He mentions a situation where he talking to a girl.  After teasing the girl, he reads there response, if they act in a negative manner he turns the situation into a joke, however, if she responds with a positive response he busts on them a bit more.  Having the skills to read people, calibrate your reply creates better interactions with people.

The chapter then goes on to define some modal and replies you can use to become more humours.  These tip include things like having standard things to reply to in common situations, exaggerating and looking for sexual innuendos in anything

Another tip mentioned was to read women’s dating books and use the recommended tips against women to tease them  David recommended reading : Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider – The Rules to find out some of these situations.

The next section in the chapter talks about being unpredictable.  One characteristic of being an extraordinary guy is being unpredictable.  David outlines a few situations and techniques to help become more unpredictable.  One of my own personal things is if were in bed I’ll kiss a girl then immediately yell ‘rape’ straight after in a joking way.. then immediately kiss her again and repeat the process, push her off me, then grab her and pull her toward me.  Its mischievous and creates tension.

The rest of the chapter talks about some characteristic traits guys should work on, these included fear (David recommend reading Susan Jeffers – Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway to help overcome fear), voice tone, learning to deal with questions you don’t want to answer and some secrets to persistent.

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