Double Your Dating Chapters 1 and 2 by David DeAngelo

September 8, 2013 - Pickup Product Reviews
Double Your Dating Chapters 1 and 2 by David DeAngelo

Double Your Dating was the first book that David DeAngelo produced.  The book is 147 pages long and is spilt into 10 chapters.

Chapter One

Chapter one outlines Davids perspective on women and the differences in attitudes.  David talks about the difference between men and women and how people think differently.  One quote I really liked was that ‘Women have more commonalities than they do differences’.  I think that this statement applies to all people and not just women.  That’s why modals like the ones detailed in this book work.  David recommended reading Steven Resiss – Who am I?: The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Actions and Define Our Personality for more information about why people are different.

Another comparisons that hit home for me was the needs that these interests satisfy, e.g. for women what needs do drama fulfill, compared to sport for men.  David outlines his approach which is to be different and stand out in an attractive way.  To be the selector and not the selectee.

The chapter goes on to discuss what triggers attraction in women and some of the reasons.   David recommend a book by Robert Ciadini – Influence that describes the Halo effect and why people are attracted to things like, money and fame.

As women has natural hard hardwired traits that they are attracted to.  These traits are further embedded into their sub-conscious through media outlets projected to them throughout their life.  David starts to mention positive frames men should adopt to become naturally attractive to women.  A mature man won’t accept being walked over.  Accepting this behaviour displays an unconscious lack of confidence and neediness.  The chapter ends with a bullet point summary of the main concepts of the chapter.

Chapter Two

The chapter starts off discussing the social negative impressions towards men who date more than one women.  For me personally I have experienced this many times from both men and women.  I never brag (as I honestly don’t date multiple women to validate my ego) or reveal details about my dating life to anyone outside of my close circle of friends.  The number of rumours and things people make up behind my back is sometimes unbelievable.  For me personally with all the girls I’ve dated I never really finish on bad terms.  I never lie or make false commitments to people, however, the number of rumours that I have on nightstands (I hardly ever do this) and treat women badly by people I don’t know, or even know the girls I’m supposed to have treated badly is sometimes shocking.  If someone is reading this book and is starting off on this journey you need to realise that the more success you have certain people will start to resent you.

The chapter tells how history and religion has helped solidify these socially accepted concepts.  David then goes on to discuss the males perspective for dating multiple women.   He found this research out from Matt Ridley’s  – The Red Queen.  Men are more likely to have one permanent partner but have sex with other people when opportunities arise.  David then lists some exercises to discover your own beliefs about this area.  I think the idea behind this section is to get men to re-frame their perspectives towards dating multiple people that might have been social conditioned into them but may not necessarily be correct for that individual.  My personal belief is that if I’m in a relationship I have or will never cheat on that person.  If I’m not in a relationship I don’t think its wrong for me to see multiple people at the same time, as I haven’t made any commitments.  On the flip side I don’t expect the girls I see to be exclusively be dating me.

David then goes onto talk about his life.  He made a commit to improve his dating life.  He references Napoleon Hill – Think and Grow Rich as a source of this mindset.  One point that I think is well worth everyone considering you start off in this area.  To become good at something does not happen overnight.  To have a muscular frame took me 3 or 4 years of hard work at the gym.  The example David provides is learning a martial arts.   It takes 2-4 years to become proficient.  This is the same principle as it is with learning to be successful with women.  It then takes additional time to become an expert.

The interview then starts to go into tips for your outer self.  These included things like style, grooming, smell etc..  There were loads of really useful tips that are definitely worth reading if your not very good at that area.

David then goes on to talk about his attitude and limiting beliefs.  Some of the highlights for me is that its not possible to attract everyone.  Out of 100 people only a certain percentage will be available and your type, say 20%.  If you don’t speak to someone who’s not interested, its not the end of the world simply move on.  The best metaphor I like for this example, is that the best team in any sport will only have a success rate of about 60%.  So even the best in the world never succeed every time.

Another tip I liked was to always been congruent to yourself.  When you find something that works for you,  don’t change yourself for anybody unless you want to.

David starts to introduce the concept for the following chapters, skills.  If an individual has an issue in their life, like not being able to get promoted at work.  It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them, or their bad at their job.  There experiencing problems because they need a new skill in a certain area to get them to the next level.  I think this is a really empowering approach.  It gives you a positive direction to focus your attention when your having issue, instead of beating yourself up that things went wrong.

David then goes onto mentions some self-image exercises that he got from the following books, Richard Bandler  – Read Frogs Into Princes and Tad James – Secret of Creating Your Future and some empowering exercises a person can use to improve their thought processes.

The chapter concludes with David detailing the benefits of mentors and defining what you want.  If you have read a self help book it will have been 99% likely that it told you that in order to get where you want, you need to define what you actually want.  For me personally when I started looking into dating improvement I had just got out of a 6 year relationship and my goal was to have no regrets in life, I wanted to know I wasn’t settling in life (I also wanted a few more notches in my bed post).  Now several years later my goals have evolved. I don’t do one night stands anymore, however, I’m not specifically looking for a girl friend.  I like hanging out with cool, beautiful women that I can have fun with.  In order to be satisfied in life I need to know I’m moving in the  right direction.

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